Birthday Miseary

I have had the WORST birthdays since I think I was 13 years old.  When I was turning 13 I remember falling asleep in the back of my mom's car and she had my Aunt Dorthie up front and I remember my mom talking to my aunt and something brought up July 4th I assume?  anyway mom said OMG! I forgot Sharon's birthday to which I do not remember my aunt sayting anything?  I was awake but laid there on the back seat pretending to still be asleep and I remember a tear falling from my eye.  I could not believe my selfish self centered mother had forgotten my birthday, maybe it was my 14th one I can't remember now because I can't remember having a good one in so many years I can hardly remember which one she forgot and which were just not important?
I never said a word to her I went home into my room and hugged my huge white bunny and cried like I did most nights I can remember and I never said a word I just remember the pain I felt in my stomach and how much it hurt.

Well this year many years later is no exception to my mother's self centered attitude toward MY BIRTHDAY!  she as always has yelled, screamed and played the victim until I am so sick of it I wish she would just DIE and do me a favor!
She first asked what food I wanted and I said barbeque chicken, at which she declared she did NOT know how to cook and to tell MY HUSBAND TO DO IT!    Ok I said and then she went on to complain how she hated my father and how she wanted to blow her brains out and she was at her ropes end, and I said " Well LET GO THEN"  and Fuck the chicken, YOU don't have to bother with it or me or my birthday and she hung up on me!  I was glad to be rid of her!
She not only hurt my feelings she brought back all the nasty feelings of how much I had felt unloved and unwanted and just a nusiance my entire life!  I cried I tried not to and I prayed and prayed but no one really has any idea of the HELL I have endured with that BITCH all my life and death for her if that is what she wants will be welcomed by all!
I have been through so much Hell I can hardly tell you all of it in one blog, it will take many but I hope and I pray that someone out there is reading this and I hope you feel someone else has felt the pain you have endured because I spent so many nights feeling so alone and so lost but now I have GOD and believe me it took me a long time to get here but I won't EVER leave his side for anyone and I do mean anyone! I love the Lord I feel like I am loved and he kept me here through all this for some greater purpose and he is the only reason I carry on because he gave me this life to LIVE and to be HAPPY and I intend to do what MY FATHER WANTS FOR ME my REAL FATHER loves me no matter how my earth parents treat me they no longer matter to me just like no one else matters to me! 
People can't hurt you or harm you or even bring you down if you have GOD I truly know I don't need anyone or anything else!